Functional Gods: Eating Disorders and Seeking Approval of Others

Many of us have posted that our functional god is overeating and seeking approval of others.

I'm right there with you gals.

I have fought eating disorders since I was 14. It started with anorexia nervosa. I wanted to look like Audrey Hepburn (I kid you not) or a teen model from those preteen magazines that were well read. So, I limited my daily calorie allotment to 900 calories per day, exercised religiously, awoke early, went to bed exactly 16 hours later (I didn't want to lose a few calories by sleeping), and watched the pounds melt away. I still thought I looked fat when I weighed 87 pounds! I was a perfectionist also...I had to make A's or I would die!

Eventually, my monthly periods had ceased and I was dizzy when I arose from a sitting position. There wasn't a lot of information in the lay publications regarding anorexia nervosa in the early 70's, but my nurse mom took me to a gynecologist to see what was wrong with me (I was also very depressed). He gave me a hormone injection to jump start my periods and told me "quit over achieving!"
Well, thank God, I stopped depriving myself of food and my eating disorder was gone! Or, so I thought. Because I was so skinny, my mom kept ice milk (I would only eat Light and Lively) and other sweets around....Oh Boy! I could eat what I wanted! Yippee!

Then entered anorexia's hidden brother....bulimia.

I must say that I have struggled with overeating and bulimia off and on since then. It strikes me when I am stressed, lonely or depressed. Of course, it's a vicious circle...I overeat because I am depressed, I gain weight or fear gaining, I feel a lack of control when I overeat, then bulimia enters the picture which leads to continuing lack of control and more depression. And Satan is having a hey day because he is keeping me defeated!

Another functional god I have struggled with is seeking approval of others (people-pleasing)! I discovered that part of the reason my eating disorders developed was from wanting to please my parents by being the "good" child (my brother was a hellion in his teenage years). I stayed away from drugs and alcohol, unhealthy friendships, partying, etc. I kept quiet, became the valedictorian of my class and sunk into depression and eating disorders.

This people-pleasing trait has eased somewhat as I have aged. Matter in fact, a big weight lifted off of me in the past ten years when I realized that I couldn't please others all of the time. When I find myself worrying too much about what others think, God gently reminds me that only His approval counts.

Sorry I turned this post into a short story, but I want to relate to my fellow siestas that I am right there with you in your struggles! I am praying that our desire would be to please God only, and that we would cut ourselves a break from perfectionism. Also, that we would do all things to His glory whether eating or drinking (I Corinthians 10:31).

Remember our memory verse.....Now unto Him that is able to keep you from falling.....
God bless!
Cheri