No other gods is very convicting. It is changing my life and making me see things more clearly. So many times my focus is off and I am distracted by so much that my mind is not upon my Lord. I want so desperately to put him first and live my life for him, knowing He is all that matters and it's really all about him and reaching others for the kingdom of Heaven.
Be Strict With Me
By: Michelle Adams
Psalms 26:2 Examine me, O Lord; and prove me; try my reins and my heart.
Not too long ago I was listening to a teaching CD by Beth Moore and I heard her tell how she began in her early thirties asking God to be strict with her. The Lord spoke to my heart that I too needed to pray that prayer. I didn’t want to; the thought of asking Him to be strict with me was frightening. Needless to say I haven’t been praying for that.
Last night I picked up my Bible and read Psalms 24-28 and when I came to this verse I was convicted. The Lord reminded of the night He had told me to ask Him to be strict with me. Again I honestly don’t want to do that I know I should because that would be obedience but it scares me.
I within myself am the most undisciplined person I know. My house is a wreck of clutter and nothing is ever in the right place. Most of the time I can’t even find what I am looking for. I have never followed a schedule. I have never been a morning person and for a long time now God has dealt with me to get up early and spend time with Him before starting my day. I have yet to accomplish that.
This morning I overslept so I woke up in a bad mood. This is a regular occurrence at my house. I rush to get ready for work and I rush out the door. While I’m driving to work I am putting in my earrings and applying lipstick so I am distracted. Usually after I sit down at my desk and am still for a moment I feel conviction because I haven’t spoken to my Heavenly Father yet.
Today as I was getting ready the Lord said, “if only you would obey my voice I would cause you to have victory.” I knew what He meant. God kept telling me, “if you do it my way, pray what I tell you to pray, obey my voice; discipline yourself I will work out all the rest.” I thought Lord I come home in the evenings and I spend time with you, some days I don’t turn my TV on at all. I pray and I study your word from the time I get home until the time I go to bed. This was no excuse and no great accomplishment. In fact the Lord let me know the reason I do that is because I have starved myself all day. It’s time for balance, it’s time to take up my cross daily and not nightly.
I have come to the conclusion that it’s time to walk in obedience and have whole-hearted dedication. I need to make up my mind that I will do things His way and not my own. I can’t make up for my morning neglect in the evenings. Yes, this was hard to swallow and yes it will be difficult to get in the habit of getting up earlier and having that time in the morning but for me that’s what God is calling me to. I am humbled by this truth but it’s time to confront it and make the necessary changes.
Father please forgive me for my disobedience for trying to do things my own way. I’m asking you now to please be strict with me. Examine me, search me, and try my intentions, my motives and the very intent of my heart. I want to do things your way and allow you to teach me to walk uprightly before you. Help me to step out and pray as you lead even when I am afraid. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
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1 comment:
Oh Michelle, I am right there with you. I am undisciplined, and spend my days caring for small children and just barely covering the bases - food on the table and clean clothes to wear, but nothing put away in it's proper place. The kids dig their clothes out of a pile of clean things in a laundry basket. Pantry items are still in the Wal-Mart bags I brought them home in yesterday. Toys are scattered all over the house, and the white linoleum in my kitchen hasn't been swept in three days. Every speck of dirt on it shows up. I tell myself I'm overwhelmed with the demands of small children, and just can't find a moment of quiet all day. I stay up too late and I sleep till the last possible minute in the morning, and the first thing I do is go to the gym to spend 25 minutes walking/running to try and get rid of my extra 30 pounds of baby weight. (I've been doing it for a month and have only lost 4 pounds!) I have to get back quickly so my husband can leave for work, and by the time I get home the baby is awake and needing to be fed. So I put off Bible study until the evening, sometimes only doing it every two or three days and playing "catch up", rushing through and missing valuable stuff. If I would make myself go to bed early, I could get up and spend time with Him BEFORE I went to the gym. But I never do. And my life is in chaos. I feel as if He used your post to remind me that if I do things His way, He will gve me victory over the overwhelming discouragement that seems to cover my life. My inability to succeed at maintaining my home, losing my weight, building quality relationships with my children, loving and respectimg my husband, and keeping up with my Bible study could all be remedied by refocusing on my relationship with Him. First thing in the morning. Thank you for sharing that. It seems so simple, but it was conviction I needed. I need Him to be strict with me, too.
Melinda
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